1. Sweeps dirt into one special corner of the house and lets it accumulate before cleaning it up.
2. Immediately opens a bag of dry crunchy snacks for her children the moment they enter the grocery store. In our case, it's the Kroger brand apple cinnamon rice cakes AKA heaven to Henry.
3. Never washes her children with soap.
4. Has a 16 month old who thinks she has to nurse 80% of the day.
5. Keeps on driving past her house if the kids are happy and quiet in the car.
6. Always has a sink full of dirty dishes. At all times.
7. Leaves clothes hanging on the clothes line for days after they are dry.
8. Rarely showers.
9. Complains about the lack of Christmas cards received this year, yet has made minimum effort to get her own Christmas cards ready to mail.
10. Drives around with a package to mail for months on end.
11. Reads so many books out loud each day that she likes to mix it up by changing the plot midstream just to see if she can keep the continuity of the story even with her plot changes.
12. Obsesses over birth and it's implications in the global world.
13. Does not discourage her children from eating food off the floor.
14. Contemplates cleaning and laundry after the kid are asleep but never makes it off the couch.
15. Has two children, two years and two pounds apart. 26+24=50 pounds of babies.