My blog is feeling neglected. My brain no longer feels busy, just tired. Tired of waking up at 5:45. Yes. 5:45. Tired of Henry's new unwillingness to nap, to go to sleep at night or to stay in his bed all night long. If I hear "I no go night night" one more time, I really might fall to pieces. Seriously.
I'm trying my best to control my anger when he fights me every step of the way and refuses to nap but it's been hard. And, yes Mama, I realize I fought naptime and had given up all naps by this age. Especially hard when he bites me after I pick him up to put him back in his bed. For the millionth time. Maybe the millionth and one time. Taylor and I have been talking about how anger and loss of control is our downfall with Henry. Even though he drives me mad with his insistent ways and wild emotions, perhaps today's naptime disaster was a test of my will to see if I could use compassion instead of anger as this 24 pound little boy pushed every button of mine over and over again. I give myself a B+. Much better than Friday's naptime F-......
Now he is asleep on the couch. For the first time in his life. I was feeling sorry for Liza having to witness the battle so I shut her door and put her down for her nap fully expecting Henry to barge in her room and insist on laying down in her crib. Instead I find 10 minutes of quiet and walk out to find Henry snuggled on the couch under the quilt Taylor napped under when Henry woke him up at 5:00 this morning. Yes. 5:00. He didn't exactly smile or show love when I walked out of Liza's room but heck, I hadn't been showing him much love during the previous hour's battle. I kissed his head and pushed him a little closer to the inside of the couch so he won't fall off and um, wake up.
To move him to his room so he can nap for his full 3.5 hours and risk waking him up and having to deal with the possible torrent of emotions or leave him on the couch and let him wake up on his own when Liza's short little nap is finished? A big question indeed.
I have exactly 20 minutes remaining before the decision must be made. At this point, I'm just going to sit down and enjoy the quiet. And the sweet little view of Henry. Asleep. At last.